Honesty - the best policy?

"Does this outfit make me look fat?"

I've learned a thing or two about myself in the past year or two: 1) I tend to have strong opinions about some things, 2) I tend to speak my mind about those opinions. I don't know why, but sometimes it just happens. Sometimes things make me so mad or upset that I can't NOT say something. Quite often, this gets me into trouble. Oh well.

Let's go back to the question that everyone hates. If a women asks a man if she looks fat in an outfit, and the man is honest, more times than not the woman is going to get upset. But if the woman asks and the man lies, does that really do her any good? Not usually, because if he thinks it, than other people probably will, too. But what does the woman expect?? She doesn't want the truth, but she doesn't want a lie either. So what gives?!

I really don't think being honest with someone should take a back seat to keeping him or her happy. It doesn't do anyone any good. Would you have someone lie to you so that you always felt good, rather than being told the truth so you could learn and grow? I'm starting to think that a lot of people prefer the first one. And I just don't get it. You really shouldn't be asking a question if you aren't prepared to handle the truth. Now, I understand that the truth is not always easy to hear. A lot of times, it really sucks. I absolutely hate when Corey or Catie sits me down and tells me that something I'm doing is wrong. Ugh, stab me right in the heart. But the fact of the matter is, if they didn't take that risk of hurting me, I wouldn't be able to look the problem in the eye and deal with it.

I don't think the truth is ever meant to hurt someone. But a lot of times people who are honest about things are labeled "brutally honest" or "rude." Yes, there definitely needs to be sensitivity and compassion with answers. But that can only go so far before it becomes people-pleasing and lying. And most of the time, I feel too strongly about something to let it go and not confront it. That's how my parents raised me. We always talked about things. They've been brutally honest with me. And guess what, I'm a better person for it because I can learn from it. I can address the problem. And I can grow. If my parents had been too worried about hurting my feelings, who knows where I'd be! I sure wouldn't have learned some of the hard lessons I did.

I think we all need to be a little bit more honest. We need to put our feelings aside and be honest with ourselves first and with the people we care about. People-pleasing hurts everyone in the end.